Burning Imprints Chapter 5-8
May. 15th, 2004 02:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
menomegirlBurning Imprints~ Chapter 5
Truth or Dare
"Home, Angel. I’m at home." Lindsey said with a soft laugh, teasing again. He'd just let more out than he'd intended....and what if Angel wasn't interested? What if he was only....getting his rocks off listening to Lindsey say these things?
Was Lindsey serious...or just getting off on messing with his head again? "Where's home at, Lindsey?" Angel said.
"Definitely not LA.. Are you worried that I may be right under your nose and you never knew it?" Soft laughter floats through the phone and into Angel's ear, settling right in Angel's groin. "No, Angel, I am not under your nose but I think I am under your skin. I bet that pisses you off too, doesn't it?" More soft laughter and now Angel is hard. “I know it’s pissing me off.”
"Lindsey, did you call me for phone sex or is there a point to all this innuendo and heavy breathing?" Angel asks, frustration screaming through his body.
Phone sex....did Angel actually just say phone sex?!? A heated flush swept through Lindsey's body at the thought of Angel and phone sex...Angel and any sex....Angel....sex....Lindsey closed his eyes and softly growled.
Angel chuckled. "Lindsey, did you just growl at me?"
"Uh...maybe?" Lindsey said, a little breathless now.
Oh, turnabout is fair play, Lindsey. You made me stutter. Well, I can play, too. Angel made a sound between a growl and a purr, and said, "I like it. I like the sound of your voice. It makes me want to fuck you right through the floor."
Lindsey felt his face go slack in shock and the phone dropped from his suddenly boneless hand. Oh, Fuck....did he just actually say that?!? I cannot believe the stoic bastard said that! He heard the vampire speak again.
"Linds....you still there?"
He picked the phone back up with a hand that now held a fine tremor. "I’m still here! Are you trying to scare me off? If so, it didn’t work! You know, I can play just as hard as you can, Angel!" Cause you know what? Pain or no pain, I’m doing this now. That’s right. I’m gonna let Angel screw my brains out. If only....I can get him here.
Angel chuckled again. "You don't want to get burned, you shouldn't play with fire, Lindsey. You started this dance. I ask again, is there a point to all of this?"
"The point is Angel, I want you. Question is: Do you want me?" Lindsey said, his voice suddenly smooth and sultry, a little breathless, a little teasing.
He really means it! Thoughts of a desire drugged Lindsey were now driving him to the edge. He had to get to him...as fast as possible. Do I honestly want to fuck him through the floor? Lemme think......Hell yes!! "Yes, Lindsey, I want you………….and if you tell me where you are, I’ll even come and show you.”
“Find me, Angel…………and you can have me." He said with the sexiest drawl he could, and with that Lindsey hung up the phone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“LINDSEY!” Angel roared into the phone. Nothing but dead air answered back.
“DAMMIT!” Angel ripped the phone off the desk and hurled it across the room where it shattered against the wall with such force pieces were left imbedded in the wall. Angel turned to the doors where Harmony was standing having come to see what all the noise was about.
“Harmony, get in here.” Angel ground out.
Harmony walked over to the desk and looked at her boss. She could see yellow flirting with the chocolate brown of his eyes and smiled gleefully. This job may not be such a drag after all. “Hey, Angel? What’s up? Need somebody killed? Or at least maimed?”
Angel grimaced at Harmony’s words but he knew that she was sensing his demon fighting for control. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, not for the oxygen but for the minimal time it gave him to take back that control.
“No, Harmony. Found……I want someone found. As soon as possible. Yesterday would have been nice. Understand?”
“Sure. You want someone found. Who?”
“Lindsey McDonald.”
“Wasn’t he just on the phone? Why didn’t you just ask him where he is?”
“I did……Harmony. He had already hung up. I need him found……NOW!”
“Alright already. I get it. No need to get all pissy about it. Any hints as to where to begin?”
“He used to work here a few years back. I already have his file but there’s nothing beyond his termination date. Look for credit card usage, forwarding address from his apartment……I don’t know……Look for anything……Just find him!”
“Ok already. I’m on it.” With that, Harmony turned and walked out the door closing the doors behind her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back in Oklahoma, Lindsey McDonald sat at his desk, worried about what he had just set in motion. He realized he had let his body talk and not his mind. Why in the holy hell had he just done that? Invited a vampire, whose hands had never touched him except to hurt him, back into his life?!? Shit, he’d all but dared the man....and Lindsey knew he was a lot of things, but a masochist was Not one of them. Or, at least, he hadn’t been. Damn! He needed another drink.
Lindsey decided he pretty much hated the unknown.
Burning Imprints~ Chapter 6
Homeward Bound
Six hours later, Angel had all the information he needed to find Lindsey laid out before him and now knew everything the young lawyer had been up to for the last 2 years. He picked up a piece of paper and read the letterhead. Garland, McDonald, & Powers - Attorneys at Law
“Tulsa, Oklahoma. So I guess you went home after all didn’t you, Lindsey?”
“Lindsey?” Gunn walked in and took a seat on the couch across the room from Angel’s desk and looked over at the vampire. “I know you ain’t talkin’ about that evil lawyer you ran outta here a few years back……or are you? He ain’t comin’ back into play now is he, cause I’m thinkin’ he may not like it here now –– with you bein’ boss and all.”
Angel smiled. “No Gunn, Lindsey isn’t coming back. Seems he has made a name for himself back home in Oklahoma. Partner in a firm there.”
“And you know this how? Better yet –– why?” Gunn asked.
“I ran across his file the other day and got curious. Had Harmony look into it. He was easy to find, didn’t even change his name to hide. I guess the senior partners did like him cause he’s still alive and --”
“Angel, I just got off the phone with the pilot and he said that the Wolfram & Hart company jet can be ready to go whenever you are. He just needs an hour to get pre-flight done. So there’s your nonstop flight to……Oh! Gunn……Hi.” Harmony looked over at Angel and smiled as angelically as she could. Oops! You’re so busted!! “Anyway, here’s the pilot’s name and number……” She handed Angel a scrap of paper “I’m leaving now, so can I get you anything before I go?”
“No Harm, I think you’ve done enough for one day. Go home and I’ll see you tomorrow.” Angel walked over to the blonde and putting his hand on her elbow, steered her towards the door.
“But aren’t you going to -“ Harmony started to ask.
“Goodbye, Harmony!” Angel said loudly effectively cutting her off.
“Alright! Goodbye already. You better not be this grouchy tomorrow or I’ll-“
“Harmony!” Angel bellowed.
“I’m gone!” Harmony turned and fled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“What was that all about?” Gunn asked when Angel came back into his office and closed the doors.
Angel considered what to tell the man but then opted for the truth. “I’m going to Oklahoma. To see Lindsey. Wes seems to think that maybe he could help us.” Angel looked over at Gunn expecting the man to blow up at him, get angry, ask him if he was crazy I am, aren’t I? Aren’t I? anything but the reaction he got, which was none.
“Kinda figured you would……someday.” Gunn said.
“You did?” Angel asked, surprised.
“We all did, man. We just figured it would have happened before now, is all. But I guess outta sight outta mind. Then you came back here –– to this place and……well, I guess now is the time.” Gunn said, shrugging his shoulders. ““When you leavin’?”
Angel looked at the scrap of paper in his hand then looked back at Gunn with a faint smile on his face. “Hopefully, in about an hour.” He said, reaching for the phone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Angel lay back on the bed in the back of the luxurious Wolfram & Hart company jet. He had decided to board before sunrise so he could sleep on the way and have less wait time for sunset when he got there. He was determined to see Lindsey that night.
It seemed the entire plane had been outfitted especially for him, from the blood bags in the galley to the special glass for the windows, the same glass used in his offices and penthouse suite that W & H gave him when he took over the LA offices. Nothing but the best huh, Lindsey? Five star accommodations. I can see why it would be hard to turn all this down, especially after growing up the way you did.
Angel let his mind wrap itself around the young lawyer, and the only time they ever worked together instead of against each other. Well there was the body parts shop, but can’t really count that cause he didn’t ask for my help, that just sort of happened. But the kids…………That’s where it all began………………………………
Saving those kids seemed to be personal for Lindsey. I had thought it would wake him up as to the type of people he worked for. I was wrong. He said that he wanted out. I had assumed that he meant out from under Wolfram and Hart.
Lindsey wanted out alright, out from under the guilt he knew he would feel when Vanessa got done with those kids. But that guilt was replaced by fear and anger. Anger because his body reacted to mine. It came alive. I made his body sing in a way it never had before. I know because that scent, his arousal, his passion, his essence....it’s been a part of me since that night. Lindsey was angry because he couldn’t accept it. His scent is what constantly drove me to touch him, to remind him. So I did. Mainly with my fists. I needed him to hurt. I needed him to bleed. He got off on it, too. He's as twisted as I am. I needed him to need me.
But most of all, I needed him to come forward and tell me what his body was screaming at mine. That he wanted me. And that want of me made him afraid. I could have helped him understand his needs, his desires. Himself. Instead, he hid. Hid behind that concrete, steel and glass called Wolfram and Hart. Where he felt safe, where he felt wanted. Where he didn’t have to come to terms with himself, about what he’d felt for me.
Lindsey never knew that I wanted him too. I was going to tell him after we saved the kids. I waited up on the hotel roof until just before sunrise, then headed down to my rooms and waited some more. I was so sure that he would come to me. I even convinced myself that he had gone home first to clean up. Wearing a co-worker’s blood all over you all day can be a little unnerving. Maybe reminded him of his own mortality.
Either way, Lindsey never showed up at my office again.
That was the beginning for me. Oh, if you were to ask Cordelia, Wesley or even Gunn when my descent into darkness started they would tell you it was when Darla arrived back into my life. But in actuality, it was when Lindsey turned his back on me, denying me, denying himself and in effect, denying us.
But maybe Lindsey knew something that I didn’t. Maybe he knew that I probably would have just marked him up as a win for the good guys and then left him to fend for himself. After all, I loved Buffy, right? She’s my soul mate, isn’t she? And the curse that won’t allow me to be with her surely wouldn’t let me be with Lindsey, would it?
What was worse than worrying about all that was the knowledge I had gained the one and only time I vamped out in his presence. He said I was really gross, but he was covering. It turned him on, and that was a bad thing to know. Bad, bad, bad thing to know.
Either way, it didn’t matter. After I took his hand to save Cordy’s life, he became focused on destroying me. Part of it was in anger for what I took from him involuntarily and I guess I understood that. But I think another part of him hoped that with my destruction, my death he could regain the part of himself that he had given me voluntarily, his heart.
Maybe if he had been able to make Darla love him, he would have been able to let go of his twisted hatred of me. He could have fooled himself into believing that through her he got me. Instead he got neither. Darla left, disappeared. And me, well I did everything short of physically driving him out of LA personally. I needed him gone before one of us ended up dead. I had to let him go. So, I stood there, hands in my pockets, and watched him drive away. Out of LA and out of my life.
God, I let him go. It was worse than leaving Darla in China, worse than leaving Sunnydale. I’d never had anyone walk away from me before.....and I hated it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was doing fine until Lilah offered us Wolfram & Hart on a silver platter. My random everyday thoughts about him became an almost constant litany of remembered words and harsh touches. Then the dreams started. Nice at first, filled with unfulfilled wants and desires acted out just the way I wanted them. Then they changed, became wet dreams and vampire wet dreams are nothing like a human’s wet dream. My wet dreams consist of Angelus draining and turning Lindsey, killing the part of him that I want so much, his heart. So, again, good thing Lindsey was gone.
Then he called. I can still hear that voice. I swear that voice has haunted me since the day we met. He said he wanted me, that he couldn’t stop thinking about me, dreaming about me, and it was making him crazy. Trust me, Lindsey. I know the feeling. I can’t help wondering what his game is though. Seduction, or rather sex, is a tactic he never used before, at least not with me. Now I'm intrigued.
"Sir" I jumped at the tinny sound coming from somewhere on my left.
"Yes." I answer.
"I just wanted to let you know that we will be beginning our descent into Tulsa International in about 20 minutes." The voice replied.
"Thank you."
"Well, Lindsey, here I come. Are you sure you’re ready to play?" Angel laughed silently. Question is, am I ready? Look at me. 250 years old, jumping at some 29 year old boy like a bitch in heat. Spike said something to that effect once. Something about being Love’s bitch. Wouldn’t he love to see me now?
Lindsey has more control over me than he ever realized. He always has. I look into his blue eyes and I feel Angelus screaming inside of me to have at him. I won't allow that to happen. Not to him. My balance may be precarious at best, but when it comes to Lindsey, I have to maintain control. Nothing less is going to do this time, because I mean to have him. He belongs to me, and I'm fucking tired of waiting. Tired of all the long, lonely nights.
Lindsey has a dominate nature, the same as I do. The same exact sense of submissiveness is there too. I've felt it. We're two halves that make a whole. The fact that he's human only makes my desire for him greater. Part of Lindsey wants me because I'm a vampire. He's so beautiful to me, my heart hurts to look at him. I cannot decide what I truly want more: to kiss him or to turn him.
There must be a place in between....there just has to be.
I'm going to find it.
Burning Imprints~ Chapter 7
Before The Storm
Lindsey
I've been thinking about my total lack of fear when it comes to vampires, since I hung up on Angel. At first I thought it started with Angel...but now I realize that I never had any fear at all. I'm not sure why that is. It's true, I had a rotten childhood. We were dirt poor. I'll never forget the death of my siblings due to flu. A part of me will never get over that. It left an empty place in my heart, an empty dark place I tried to fill with Wolfram & Hart.
Yet this isn't reason enough for my lack of fear. It was always there, I suppose. Sometimes, I think a part of my soul is missing. I feel nothing, most of the time. That's what enabled me to work there in the first damn place. It eats at me, that nothingness. It tears me up inside, that numbness. I did crazy things to try to....be somebody. To prove I was something. To Belong. And twice did I try to get myself out of the whole mess I'd made of my life. The first time I desperately needed guidance. It didn't work out. The last time, I ran away.
I once went to Angel for help. I just couldn't stomach the death of children. It was too much. I let him see the emptiness within me.....and all I got in return were snide remarks. The man who had protected Faith against the Watcher's council, despite the torture of Wesley Wyndham-Price, the man who had even fought his lover over the rogue slayer.....he didn’t care if I lived or died. I had asked him if I died, would it prove I'd changed. He coldly answered that it would be a start.
And that day was almost my death. I've often thought how close I came, how no one would have cared, and how very much I want to be loved. About how I've held no fear of death ever since. I believe I took the promotion Holland Manners offered me because...at the time, I thought it was hate towards Angel. Now, I know it was rage, because he hadn't cared enough to truly help me.
Angel was supposed to help the hopeless. That day, I was pretty fucking hopeless. That day, the emptiness inside me became a living thing. Because that day, I finally realized my fate was bound to his, somehow. My body, it came alive in a way I’d never felt before that night. That little epiphany damn near made my heart stop. I went straight into denial, and I think it made the rage worse. So, when I closed that office door, I pushed all the hope I’d felt deep inside, and I’ve never recovered it. Now, the emptiness is all I feel.
For a brief span of time, I thought losing myself in Darla would make it go away, that hopeless feeling. I’ll never forget those few sick moments in the nursery when she was dead. Also, the fact that I understood that crazy Drusilla has often made me wonder how sane I am. I told Darla I didn’t mind dying. At the time, I’d meant it. The funny thing is, Darla had known, she’d even told me once. It’s not me you want to screw. It’s him.
Then I felt him, the same second Drusilla did. He said, I’m sorry I didn’t get to you in time. Darla assumed he was talking to her. That was the only true apology he ever gave me. I smiled when he shut the door on us. If I had died that night, at least he had given me that much.
Now, I've called him to me. I'm still not afraid. Will he come?
These two years, I've filled them with passionate encounters. It’s almost become a blur to me. Sex for me has always been an exquisite, sensuous experience, and yes, alright....sometimes, it borders on pain. I drive my body until I'm numb, until I can't move, until I'm nearly dead.
It's not enough any longer. I've realized I'm doing it to feel. To feel alive. To feel human. To feel that I'm not a selfish, uncaring bastard. I need something else, some other forgetfulness to quell the emptiness I live with. To forget him. Always....him.
But I can’t....I just can’t. He’s under my skin, he’s in my blood, and I can’t live without him any longer. So, I called him. If Angel does show up....I’ll let him take me. He can fuck me, kill me, turn me, love me....I don’t care which. I only know.....I want him more than I want to breathe.
Like I said before, I’m not a masochist. But if all he offers me is pain, I’ll take it. I’ll cry, I’ll scream....fuck, I’ll even beg the bastard. My pride is gone, my heart is barren, and Goddamn it, I feel...so fucking alone. He’s the only one who can understand. Because he knows that at least physical wounds heal, and fade. Emotional ones seem to never leave. They leave a deeper scar that can never completely fade. And I’m so tired. So fucking tired.
And at least with him I’d feel something, wouldn’t I? Even if it’s only pain. It’s better than this cold emptiness I live with. I want to feel something real, something tangible.. Something life-altering and cataclysmic, something to stir what remains of my soul.
The sound of his voice on the phone brought it all rushing back, and I want him. Dreams are sometimes only dreams, because I’m not a prophet or a seer. Only a lawyer with an evil hand, who denies the truth when it’s staring me in the face. And I’m not a teenager, confused and ashamed of what I need from him, but a man who knows what I want.
I’m not hiding from it any longer.
Burning Imprints~ Chapter 8
Choices
Lindsey stood up from the couch he’d been lounging on, and walked to the liquor cabinet to pour a tumbler of scotch. He looked at himself in the mirror behind it, smiling at himself. He needed to stop this.....what had Angel once told him?....ah, yes. Moping. He made a noise that was a cross between a snort and a laugh. A case of the pot calling the kettle, Angel. You brood, and I mope. And even after all this time, Lindsey still had to smile at Angel’s snarky attitude during the car ride the day before he’d left LA. At first, it had been the side glances at Lindsey, even during the call he’d made to Cordelia. It had made Lindsey’s skin crawl.
But then Angel just couldn’t keep his mouth shut. Your hand hasn’t been doing anything....funny....lately, has it? The vampire had asked with a look of total innocence on his face. While his hand stroked the side window. Innocent.....right.
Lindsey had shot Angel a look that said I saw that and Are you flirting with me now? and That’s none of your business and Go to Hell all at the same time.
Lindsey had told Angel You know, I know you’re Mr. Save A Soul now, but at least you used to throw down with your enemies. What do you wanna do now? You wanna share?
Only, I meant screw, and he knew it. I’m glad he didn’t reply to that at the time. I was on the edge as it was. And when I gasped at the sight of the axe in his hand.....
Lindsey’s memories were cut off at the sound of his cell phone ringing. He was grinning as he answered, "Hello?"
"Still want me, Lindsey?"
Oh, man.....it’s him. He has my cell number. "Angel?"
He sounded amused. "Expecting someone else?"
Lindsey said, "No. Not really. How did you get this number?"
Angel laughed and the sound made Lindsey’s mouth go dry. "You told me if I found you, I could have you. I’ve been searching, and I almost have you pinned down. Do you still want me, Lindsey?"
Does this mean you’re coming? Please say it does. I couldn’t take it if you don’t. Lindsey thought that, but all he said was, "Yes, I do. Wh...Where are you?"
"So, do I have an open invite to your place once I find you?" Angel asked, avoiding the question.
Lindsey laughed. He knew that the vampire must already know where he is. He sounds too cocky not to know where I am. Question is, where is he, how long before he gets here and how long do I have before I have to make good on my promise? "When you get here, Angel, come on in. Door's open."
Angel said, "You sure about that? Once I walk into your life again, all choice will be gone. Are you really sure you want this?"
Lindsey made the half-snort, half laugh sound again. "Yes, I'm sure. You want it in writing?"
Angel’s voice said behind him, "That would be nice, but not necessary. Thanks, anyway."
Lindsey whirled around found himself face to face with the object of his every sleeping thought, though lately even the waking thoughts were filled with him too. "Angel?"
Angel smiled. "Hello, Lindsey, long time no see." And with that Angel took Lindsey's face in his hands and kissed the young man breathless.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lindsey barely had time to process the fact of Angel’s presence in his home before the vampire took his face in his hands, a sweet surge of heat enveloped his body, and Angel’s lips were on his own. His kiss was everything Lindsey had dreamed of and more. He opened his mouth and let him deepen the kiss. It was pulse pounding, earth shattering, and left the lawyer breathless, wanting, and that element of danger....he felt it down to his soul.
Lindsey dropped the phone, reached up to wind his hand in the vampire’s hair, and kissed him back, touching Angel’s tongue with his, and he felt it in every nerve in his body, which was now burning to just get on with it.....and his mind was screaming He’s here, he came, he’s kissing you. Oh my god. He craved contact with that body, so Lindsey moved closer, slipping his hand under Angel’s shirt to touch the vampire.
Angel was surprised. The way Lindsey had sounded on the phone....he’d thought Lindsey was maybe just curious or something, but.....oh, shit......damn, Lindsey was teasing his nipples. The vampire muttered “Fuck.” and Lindsey moaned into the kiss. Damn.....was Lindsey a novice at this or not? Angel moved his right hand to Lindsey’s back, and kissed his way to the young man’s ear. His smooth voice whispered into his ear, “Have you ever done this before, Lindsey?”
That momentarily confused Lindsey. Then it dawned on him what Angel had asked, and Lindsey felt himself blush all over, a combination of embarrassment and desire sweeping over him. His heartbeat accelerated, and now he wondered if he was insane to have brought this down on himself, but frankly, he was too hot to care. He softly said, "I’ve never been with a man before, Angel, if that's what you’re asking."
Angel laughed softly as he moved to stand behind Lindsey. "That’s very good. I’ve always wanted to be the first one there, Lindsey." He slid his hands down the young man’s chest, until he reached the erection that strained against fabric. He softly began to stroke it. Lindsey gasped and arched into Angel’s hand. "So, you're trying to tell me...what? I’m the only one?"
Lindsey let his head fall back as he closed his eyes. Why was he only complete when Angel touched him? His voice was very husky, deepened with passion as he answered, "Yes. You're the one. The....only....one."
Angel softly growled into Lindsey’s ear. The young man was very visibly turned on by that, just as Angel had known he would be. The vampire slid his hands up under Lindsey’s shirt, touching him, teasing him, just to feel how sensitive his skin was to his touch. Lindsey arched up into the touch....God, his skin’s so damn hot. He feels like he has fever. Angel thought. His hand wandered back down, and he began unbuttoning the jeans.
Lindsey moaned, placed his shaking hands on the cabinet in front of him. Oh, God....this is it. If I wanna back out, it’s now or never....., but then Angel started undoing each button on his jeans, the pressure on his erection hit his system, and Lindsey knew without doubt, he wanted this.....desperately. His body felt more alive in this moment that it ever had before. “Afraid?” Angel whispered into his ear.
“No,” Lindsey shakily said.
“Do you want me to stop? Slow down?” Angel said, his hands poised to push the jeans down.
He’s giving you an out. This is it, Lindsey boy....take it and move on....or get on with it and take what you’ve always wanted. Lindsey shivered. He whispered, “No, don’t stop....please....don’t stop.”
Angel growled again. Lindsey gasped at the sound, and the vampire chuckled. He slid the jeans down, his hands inside touching Lindsey’s legs all the way down, then back up again as he stood. He shrugged the duster off, placing the lube he’d brought on the cabinet in front of Lindsey, who inhaled sharply at the sight of it, but didn’t try to move away. The vampire continued touching Lindsey, who was gently shaking with the desire that was running though his body, panting softly, and blushing at the same time.
Angel decided this was the moment of truth, right here....right now. He gently took Lindsey’s balls in his grip, gently squeezed....not enough to hurt....just enough to get his attention. He kissed Lindsey’s neck, and the young man sucked in his breath and froze. Angel menacingly said, "What game are you playing at.....what do you want, really? Tell me, Lindsey."
Lindsey softly said, “I have a vampire at my neck, my pants are down around my ankles, every nerve in my body is singing, I can’t decide what it is I want the most, but your hand is on the most vulnerable part of my body....I can feel the danger I’m in. Tell me, Angel....what do I smell like I want?”
“Oh, you smell like you really want me to take you, but I want to hear you say it. Tell me, Lindsey,” Angel whispered. “You look at yourself in that mirror, and you tell me.”
Lindsey glanced in the mirror, saw himself...the look of abandonment in his eyes, the color of the blush of his skin, and he was blinded by passion, only feeling the hot desire the vampire had always aroused in him, Lindsey turned to look Angel in the eye, and answered honestly, "Anything you want, Angel. I’ll let you do anything to me you want. I just want you to take me. Here. Now." His voice broke, and he swallowed what remained of pride, "Please. I just want to feel something real."
That wasn’t the answer Angel was expecting, and it made the demon within glitter in his eyes. A begging, submissive Lindsey he hadn’t been prepared for. A Lindsey who kissed back, who touched him boldly, and didn’t shy away from something he’d never known, he’d not expected that, either. He’d expected anything but the aching, crushing, heart stopping need he could hear in Lindsey’s voice and the unwavering truth he could read in the young man's eyes.
It sent his senses reeling, and before he could control himself, he had the lawyer bent over the liquor cabinet, the lube he had brought in his hands. Angel got Lindsey ready for him, he wasn’t cruel about it, but not gentle either. Lindsey sucked his breath in, he whimpered a little, but he didn’t protest. Then Angel took the man under him, hard and fast. Lindsey screamed at the swift invasion.
He felt pain and pressure as Angel moved in him, but it faded as other, more primal needs took him over. The hot, sweet flush was replaced by a nasty, even hotter desire, one that he found he liked. Being taken this way by someone stronger than him, being used this way by Angel.....Lindsey liked it very much. It hurt, but not like he’d imagined it would. Passion took him over, and all he could do was ride it out. Then the vampire moved a different way, and Lindsey groaned deeply. Angel was hitting his prostate with every stroke, and Lindsey started moving in rhythm with him.
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Lindsey hadn’t lied. He was tight, only the way a virgin at this would be. The heat surrounding him was incredible, Angel had never felt anyone this hot under him before. A red haze descended over the vampire, and all he felt was the need to conquer and dominate, to fuck the man underneath him, and he didn’t hear the sounds that were coming from Lindsey until it was almost over. But by then, Angel couldn’t stop the orgasm that overtook him when he realized the young man under him was moving with him, he was moving and moaning, and he came right before Angel did, the vampire’s name echoing in the air in that harsh, husky voice.
Angel knew then that Lindsey was playing the only game that ever mattered. It was kiss or kill and he was afraid it was going to end up being both, because Lindsey was the one, the only one, who was prepared to take it all the way. Angel had known this from the moment he’d really looked into Lindsey’s eyes, what seemed a lifetime ago.
The final dance between them had begun.
Truth or Dare
"Home, Angel. I’m at home." Lindsey said with a soft laugh, teasing again. He'd just let more out than he'd intended....and what if Angel wasn't interested? What if he was only....getting his rocks off listening to Lindsey say these things?
Was Lindsey serious...or just getting off on messing with his head again? "Where's home at, Lindsey?" Angel said.
"Definitely not LA.. Are you worried that I may be right under your nose and you never knew it?" Soft laughter floats through the phone and into Angel's ear, settling right in Angel's groin. "No, Angel, I am not under your nose but I think I am under your skin. I bet that pisses you off too, doesn't it?" More soft laughter and now Angel is hard. “I know it’s pissing me off.”
"Lindsey, did you call me for phone sex or is there a point to all this innuendo and heavy breathing?" Angel asks, frustration screaming through his body.
Phone sex....did Angel actually just say phone sex?!? A heated flush swept through Lindsey's body at the thought of Angel and phone sex...Angel and any sex....Angel....sex....Lindsey closed his eyes and softly growled.
Angel chuckled. "Lindsey, did you just growl at me?"
"Uh...maybe?" Lindsey said, a little breathless now.
Oh, turnabout is fair play, Lindsey. You made me stutter. Well, I can play, too. Angel made a sound between a growl and a purr, and said, "I like it. I like the sound of your voice. It makes me want to fuck you right through the floor."
Lindsey felt his face go slack in shock and the phone dropped from his suddenly boneless hand. Oh, Fuck....did he just actually say that?!? I cannot believe the stoic bastard said that! He heard the vampire speak again.
"Linds....you still there?"
He picked the phone back up with a hand that now held a fine tremor. "I’m still here! Are you trying to scare me off? If so, it didn’t work! You know, I can play just as hard as you can, Angel!" Cause you know what? Pain or no pain, I’m doing this now. That’s right. I’m gonna let Angel screw my brains out. If only....I can get him here.
Angel chuckled again. "You don't want to get burned, you shouldn't play with fire, Lindsey. You started this dance. I ask again, is there a point to all of this?"
"The point is Angel, I want you. Question is: Do you want me?" Lindsey said, his voice suddenly smooth and sultry, a little breathless, a little teasing.
He really means it! Thoughts of a desire drugged Lindsey were now driving him to the edge. He had to get to him...as fast as possible. Do I honestly want to fuck him through the floor? Lemme think......Hell yes!! "Yes, Lindsey, I want you………….and if you tell me where you are, I’ll even come and show you.”
“Find me, Angel…………and you can have me." He said with the sexiest drawl he could, and with that Lindsey hung up the phone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“LINDSEY!” Angel roared into the phone. Nothing but dead air answered back.
“DAMMIT!” Angel ripped the phone off the desk and hurled it across the room where it shattered against the wall with such force pieces were left imbedded in the wall. Angel turned to the doors where Harmony was standing having come to see what all the noise was about.
“Harmony, get in here.” Angel ground out.
Harmony walked over to the desk and looked at her boss. She could see yellow flirting with the chocolate brown of his eyes and smiled gleefully. This job may not be such a drag after all. “Hey, Angel? What’s up? Need somebody killed? Or at least maimed?”
Angel grimaced at Harmony’s words but he knew that she was sensing his demon fighting for control. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, not for the oxygen but for the minimal time it gave him to take back that control.
“No, Harmony. Found……I want someone found. As soon as possible. Yesterday would have been nice. Understand?”
“Sure. You want someone found. Who?”
“Lindsey McDonald.”
“Wasn’t he just on the phone? Why didn’t you just ask him where he is?”
“I did……Harmony. He had already hung up. I need him found……NOW!”
“Alright already. I get it. No need to get all pissy about it. Any hints as to where to begin?”
“He used to work here a few years back. I already have his file but there’s nothing beyond his termination date. Look for credit card usage, forwarding address from his apartment……I don’t know……Look for anything……Just find him!”
“Ok already. I’m on it.” With that, Harmony turned and walked out the door closing the doors behind her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back in Oklahoma, Lindsey McDonald sat at his desk, worried about what he had just set in motion. He realized he had let his body talk and not his mind. Why in the holy hell had he just done that? Invited a vampire, whose hands had never touched him except to hurt him, back into his life?!? Shit, he’d all but dared the man....and Lindsey knew he was a lot of things, but a masochist was Not one of them. Or, at least, he hadn’t been. Damn! He needed another drink.
Lindsey decided he pretty much hated the unknown.
Burning Imprints~ Chapter 6
Homeward Bound
Six hours later, Angel had all the information he needed to find Lindsey laid out before him and now knew everything the young lawyer had been up to for the last 2 years. He picked up a piece of paper and read the letterhead. Garland, McDonald, & Powers - Attorneys at Law
“Tulsa, Oklahoma. So I guess you went home after all didn’t you, Lindsey?”
“Lindsey?” Gunn walked in and took a seat on the couch across the room from Angel’s desk and looked over at the vampire. “I know you ain’t talkin’ about that evil lawyer you ran outta here a few years back……or are you? He ain’t comin’ back into play now is he, cause I’m thinkin’ he may not like it here now –– with you bein’ boss and all.”
Angel smiled. “No Gunn, Lindsey isn’t coming back. Seems he has made a name for himself back home in Oklahoma. Partner in a firm there.”
“And you know this how? Better yet –– why?” Gunn asked.
“I ran across his file the other day and got curious. Had Harmony look into it. He was easy to find, didn’t even change his name to hide. I guess the senior partners did like him cause he’s still alive and --”
“Angel, I just got off the phone with the pilot and he said that the Wolfram & Hart company jet can be ready to go whenever you are. He just needs an hour to get pre-flight done. So there’s your nonstop flight to……Oh! Gunn……Hi.” Harmony looked over at Angel and smiled as angelically as she could. Oops! You’re so busted!! “Anyway, here’s the pilot’s name and number……” She handed Angel a scrap of paper “I’m leaving now, so can I get you anything before I go?”
“No Harm, I think you’ve done enough for one day. Go home and I’ll see you tomorrow.” Angel walked over to the blonde and putting his hand on her elbow, steered her towards the door.
“But aren’t you going to -“ Harmony started to ask.
“Goodbye, Harmony!” Angel said loudly effectively cutting her off.
“Alright! Goodbye already. You better not be this grouchy tomorrow or I’ll-“
“Harmony!” Angel bellowed.
“I’m gone!” Harmony turned and fled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“What was that all about?” Gunn asked when Angel came back into his office and closed the doors.
Angel considered what to tell the man but then opted for the truth. “I’m going to Oklahoma. To see Lindsey. Wes seems to think that maybe he could help us.” Angel looked over at Gunn expecting the man to blow up at him, get angry, ask him if he was crazy I am, aren’t I? Aren’t I? anything but the reaction he got, which was none.
“Kinda figured you would……someday.” Gunn said.
“You did?” Angel asked, surprised.
“We all did, man. We just figured it would have happened before now, is all. But I guess outta sight outta mind. Then you came back here –– to this place and……well, I guess now is the time.” Gunn said, shrugging his shoulders. ““When you leavin’?”
Angel looked at the scrap of paper in his hand then looked back at Gunn with a faint smile on his face. “Hopefully, in about an hour.” He said, reaching for the phone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Angel lay back on the bed in the back of the luxurious Wolfram & Hart company jet. He had decided to board before sunrise so he could sleep on the way and have less wait time for sunset when he got there. He was determined to see Lindsey that night.
It seemed the entire plane had been outfitted especially for him, from the blood bags in the galley to the special glass for the windows, the same glass used in his offices and penthouse suite that W & H gave him when he took over the LA offices. Nothing but the best huh, Lindsey? Five star accommodations. I can see why it would be hard to turn all this down, especially after growing up the way you did.
Angel let his mind wrap itself around the young lawyer, and the only time they ever worked together instead of against each other. Well there was the body parts shop, but can’t really count that cause he didn’t ask for my help, that just sort of happened. But the kids…………That’s where it all began………………………………
Saving those kids seemed to be personal for Lindsey. I had thought it would wake him up as to the type of people he worked for. I was wrong. He said that he wanted out. I had assumed that he meant out from under Wolfram and Hart.
Lindsey wanted out alright, out from under the guilt he knew he would feel when Vanessa got done with those kids. But that guilt was replaced by fear and anger. Anger because his body reacted to mine. It came alive. I made his body sing in a way it never had before. I know because that scent, his arousal, his passion, his essence....it’s been a part of me since that night. Lindsey was angry because he couldn’t accept it. His scent is what constantly drove me to touch him, to remind him. So I did. Mainly with my fists. I needed him to hurt. I needed him to bleed. He got off on it, too. He's as twisted as I am. I needed him to need me.
But most of all, I needed him to come forward and tell me what his body was screaming at mine. That he wanted me. And that want of me made him afraid. I could have helped him understand his needs, his desires. Himself. Instead, he hid. Hid behind that concrete, steel and glass called Wolfram and Hart. Where he felt safe, where he felt wanted. Where he didn’t have to come to terms with himself, about what he’d felt for me.
Lindsey never knew that I wanted him too. I was going to tell him after we saved the kids. I waited up on the hotel roof until just before sunrise, then headed down to my rooms and waited some more. I was so sure that he would come to me. I even convinced myself that he had gone home first to clean up. Wearing a co-worker’s blood all over you all day can be a little unnerving. Maybe reminded him of his own mortality.
Either way, Lindsey never showed up at my office again.
That was the beginning for me. Oh, if you were to ask Cordelia, Wesley or even Gunn when my descent into darkness started they would tell you it was when Darla arrived back into my life. But in actuality, it was when Lindsey turned his back on me, denying me, denying himself and in effect, denying us.
But maybe Lindsey knew something that I didn’t. Maybe he knew that I probably would have just marked him up as a win for the good guys and then left him to fend for himself. After all, I loved Buffy, right? She’s my soul mate, isn’t she? And the curse that won’t allow me to be with her surely wouldn’t let me be with Lindsey, would it?
What was worse than worrying about all that was the knowledge I had gained the one and only time I vamped out in his presence. He said I was really gross, but he was covering. It turned him on, and that was a bad thing to know. Bad, bad, bad thing to know.
Either way, it didn’t matter. After I took his hand to save Cordy’s life, he became focused on destroying me. Part of it was in anger for what I took from him involuntarily and I guess I understood that. But I think another part of him hoped that with my destruction, my death he could regain the part of himself that he had given me voluntarily, his heart.
Maybe if he had been able to make Darla love him, he would have been able to let go of his twisted hatred of me. He could have fooled himself into believing that through her he got me. Instead he got neither. Darla left, disappeared. And me, well I did everything short of physically driving him out of LA personally. I needed him gone before one of us ended up dead. I had to let him go. So, I stood there, hands in my pockets, and watched him drive away. Out of LA and out of my life.
God, I let him go. It was worse than leaving Darla in China, worse than leaving Sunnydale. I’d never had anyone walk away from me before.....and I hated it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was doing fine until Lilah offered us Wolfram & Hart on a silver platter. My random everyday thoughts about him became an almost constant litany of remembered words and harsh touches. Then the dreams started. Nice at first, filled with unfulfilled wants and desires acted out just the way I wanted them. Then they changed, became wet dreams and vampire wet dreams are nothing like a human’s wet dream. My wet dreams consist of Angelus draining and turning Lindsey, killing the part of him that I want so much, his heart. So, again, good thing Lindsey was gone.
Then he called. I can still hear that voice. I swear that voice has haunted me since the day we met. He said he wanted me, that he couldn’t stop thinking about me, dreaming about me, and it was making him crazy. Trust me, Lindsey. I know the feeling. I can’t help wondering what his game is though. Seduction, or rather sex, is a tactic he never used before, at least not with me. Now I'm intrigued.
"Sir" I jumped at the tinny sound coming from somewhere on my left.
"Yes." I answer.
"I just wanted to let you know that we will be beginning our descent into Tulsa International in about 20 minutes." The voice replied.
"Thank you."
"Well, Lindsey, here I come. Are you sure you’re ready to play?" Angel laughed silently. Question is, am I ready? Look at me. 250 years old, jumping at some 29 year old boy like a bitch in heat. Spike said something to that effect once. Something about being Love’s bitch. Wouldn’t he love to see me now?
Lindsey has more control over me than he ever realized. He always has. I look into his blue eyes and I feel Angelus screaming inside of me to have at him. I won't allow that to happen. Not to him. My balance may be precarious at best, but when it comes to Lindsey, I have to maintain control. Nothing less is going to do this time, because I mean to have him. He belongs to me, and I'm fucking tired of waiting. Tired of all the long, lonely nights.
Lindsey has a dominate nature, the same as I do. The same exact sense of submissiveness is there too. I've felt it. We're two halves that make a whole. The fact that he's human only makes my desire for him greater. Part of Lindsey wants me because I'm a vampire. He's so beautiful to me, my heart hurts to look at him. I cannot decide what I truly want more: to kiss him or to turn him.
There must be a place in between....there just has to be.
I'm going to find it.
Burning Imprints~ Chapter 7
Before The Storm
Lindsey
I've been thinking about my total lack of fear when it comes to vampires, since I hung up on Angel. At first I thought it started with Angel...but now I realize that I never had any fear at all. I'm not sure why that is. It's true, I had a rotten childhood. We were dirt poor. I'll never forget the death of my siblings due to flu. A part of me will never get over that. It left an empty place in my heart, an empty dark place I tried to fill with Wolfram & Hart.
Yet this isn't reason enough for my lack of fear. It was always there, I suppose. Sometimes, I think a part of my soul is missing. I feel nothing, most of the time. That's what enabled me to work there in the first damn place. It eats at me, that nothingness. It tears me up inside, that numbness. I did crazy things to try to....be somebody. To prove I was something. To Belong. And twice did I try to get myself out of the whole mess I'd made of my life. The first time I desperately needed guidance. It didn't work out. The last time, I ran away.
I once went to Angel for help. I just couldn't stomach the death of children. It was too much. I let him see the emptiness within me.....and all I got in return were snide remarks. The man who had protected Faith against the Watcher's council, despite the torture of Wesley Wyndham-Price, the man who had even fought his lover over the rogue slayer.....he didn’t care if I lived or died. I had asked him if I died, would it prove I'd changed. He coldly answered that it would be a start.
And that day was almost my death. I've often thought how close I came, how no one would have cared, and how very much I want to be loved. About how I've held no fear of death ever since. I believe I took the promotion Holland Manners offered me because...at the time, I thought it was hate towards Angel. Now, I know it was rage, because he hadn't cared enough to truly help me.
Angel was supposed to help the hopeless. That day, I was pretty fucking hopeless. That day, the emptiness inside me became a living thing. Because that day, I finally realized my fate was bound to his, somehow. My body, it came alive in a way I’d never felt before that night. That little epiphany damn near made my heart stop. I went straight into denial, and I think it made the rage worse. So, when I closed that office door, I pushed all the hope I’d felt deep inside, and I’ve never recovered it. Now, the emptiness is all I feel.
For a brief span of time, I thought losing myself in Darla would make it go away, that hopeless feeling. I’ll never forget those few sick moments in the nursery when she was dead. Also, the fact that I understood that crazy Drusilla has often made me wonder how sane I am. I told Darla I didn’t mind dying. At the time, I’d meant it. The funny thing is, Darla had known, she’d even told me once. It’s not me you want to screw. It’s him.
Then I felt him, the same second Drusilla did. He said, I’m sorry I didn’t get to you in time. Darla assumed he was talking to her. That was the only true apology he ever gave me. I smiled when he shut the door on us. If I had died that night, at least he had given me that much.
Now, I've called him to me. I'm still not afraid. Will he come?
These two years, I've filled them with passionate encounters. It’s almost become a blur to me. Sex for me has always been an exquisite, sensuous experience, and yes, alright....sometimes, it borders on pain. I drive my body until I'm numb, until I can't move, until I'm nearly dead.
It's not enough any longer. I've realized I'm doing it to feel. To feel alive. To feel human. To feel that I'm not a selfish, uncaring bastard. I need something else, some other forgetfulness to quell the emptiness I live with. To forget him. Always....him.
But I can’t....I just can’t. He’s under my skin, he’s in my blood, and I can’t live without him any longer. So, I called him. If Angel does show up....I’ll let him take me. He can fuck me, kill me, turn me, love me....I don’t care which. I only know.....I want him more than I want to breathe.
Like I said before, I’m not a masochist. But if all he offers me is pain, I’ll take it. I’ll cry, I’ll scream....fuck, I’ll even beg the bastard. My pride is gone, my heart is barren, and Goddamn it, I feel...so fucking alone. He’s the only one who can understand. Because he knows that at least physical wounds heal, and fade. Emotional ones seem to never leave. They leave a deeper scar that can never completely fade. And I’m so tired. So fucking tired.
And at least with him I’d feel something, wouldn’t I? Even if it’s only pain. It’s better than this cold emptiness I live with. I want to feel something real, something tangible.. Something life-altering and cataclysmic, something to stir what remains of my soul.
The sound of his voice on the phone brought it all rushing back, and I want him. Dreams are sometimes only dreams, because I’m not a prophet or a seer. Only a lawyer with an evil hand, who denies the truth when it’s staring me in the face. And I’m not a teenager, confused and ashamed of what I need from him, but a man who knows what I want.
I’m not hiding from it any longer.
Burning Imprints~ Chapter 8
Choices
Lindsey stood up from the couch he’d been lounging on, and walked to the liquor cabinet to pour a tumbler of scotch. He looked at himself in the mirror behind it, smiling at himself. He needed to stop this.....what had Angel once told him?....ah, yes. Moping. He made a noise that was a cross between a snort and a laugh. A case of the pot calling the kettle, Angel. You brood, and I mope. And even after all this time, Lindsey still had to smile at Angel’s snarky attitude during the car ride the day before he’d left LA. At first, it had been the side glances at Lindsey, even during the call he’d made to Cordelia. It had made Lindsey’s skin crawl.
But then Angel just couldn’t keep his mouth shut. Your hand hasn’t been doing anything....funny....lately, has it? The vampire had asked with a look of total innocence on his face. While his hand stroked the side window. Innocent.....right.
Lindsey had shot Angel a look that said I saw that and Are you flirting with me now? and That’s none of your business and Go to Hell all at the same time.
Lindsey had told Angel You know, I know you’re Mr. Save A Soul now, but at least you used to throw down with your enemies. What do you wanna do now? You wanna share?
Only, I meant screw, and he knew it. I’m glad he didn’t reply to that at the time. I was on the edge as it was. And when I gasped at the sight of the axe in his hand.....
Lindsey’s memories were cut off at the sound of his cell phone ringing. He was grinning as he answered, "Hello?"
"Still want me, Lindsey?"
Oh, man.....it’s him. He has my cell number. "Angel?"
He sounded amused. "Expecting someone else?"
Lindsey said, "No. Not really. How did you get this number?"
Angel laughed and the sound made Lindsey’s mouth go dry. "You told me if I found you, I could have you. I’ve been searching, and I almost have you pinned down. Do you still want me, Lindsey?"
Does this mean you’re coming? Please say it does. I couldn’t take it if you don’t. Lindsey thought that, but all he said was, "Yes, I do. Wh...Where are you?"
"So, do I have an open invite to your place once I find you?" Angel asked, avoiding the question.
Lindsey laughed. He knew that the vampire must already know where he is. He sounds too cocky not to know where I am. Question is, where is he, how long before he gets here and how long do I have before I have to make good on my promise? "When you get here, Angel, come on in. Door's open."
Angel said, "You sure about that? Once I walk into your life again, all choice will be gone. Are you really sure you want this?"
Lindsey made the half-snort, half laugh sound again. "Yes, I'm sure. You want it in writing?"
Angel’s voice said behind him, "That would be nice, but not necessary. Thanks, anyway."
Lindsey whirled around found himself face to face with the object of his every sleeping thought, though lately even the waking thoughts were filled with him too. "Angel?"
Angel smiled. "Hello, Lindsey, long time no see." And with that Angel took Lindsey's face in his hands and kissed the young man breathless.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lindsey barely had time to process the fact of Angel’s presence in his home before the vampire took his face in his hands, a sweet surge of heat enveloped his body, and Angel’s lips were on his own. His kiss was everything Lindsey had dreamed of and more. He opened his mouth and let him deepen the kiss. It was pulse pounding, earth shattering, and left the lawyer breathless, wanting, and that element of danger....he felt it down to his soul.
Lindsey dropped the phone, reached up to wind his hand in the vampire’s hair, and kissed him back, touching Angel’s tongue with his, and he felt it in every nerve in his body, which was now burning to just get on with it.....and his mind was screaming He’s here, he came, he’s kissing you. Oh my god. He craved contact with that body, so Lindsey moved closer, slipping his hand under Angel’s shirt to touch the vampire.
Angel was surprised. The way Lindsey had sounded on the phone....he’d thought Lindsey was maybe just curious or something, but.....oh, shit......damn, Lindsey was teasing his nipples. The vampire muttered “Fuck.” and Lindsey moaned into the kiss. Damn.....was Lindsey a novice at this or not? Angel moved his right hand to Lindsey’s back, and kissed his way to the young man’s ear. His smooth voice whispered into his ear, “Have you ever done this before, Lindsey?”
That momentarily confused Lindsey. Then it dawned on him what Angel had asked, and Lindsey felt himself blush all over, a combination of embarrassment and desire sweeping over him. His heartbeat accelerated, and now he wondered if he was insane to have brought this down on himself, but frankly, he was too hot to care. He softly said, "I’ve never been with a man before, Angel, if that's what you’re asking."
Angel laughed softly as he moved to stand behind Lindsey. "That’s very good. I’ve always wanted to be the first one there, Lindsey." He slid his hands down the young man’s chest, until he reached the erection that strained against fabric. He softly began to stroke it. Lindsey gasped and arched into Angel’s hand. "So, you're trying to tell me...what? I’m the only one?"
Lindsey let his head fall back as he closed his eyes. Why was he only complete when Angel touched him? His voice was very husky, deepened with passion as he answered, "Yes. You're the one. The....only....one."
Angel softly growled into Lindsey’s ear. The young man was very visibly turned on by that, just as Angel had known he would be. The vampire slid his hands up under Lindsey’s shirt, touching him, teasing him, just to feel how sensitive his skin was to his touch. Lindsey arched up into the touch....God, his skin’s so damn hot. He feels like he has fever. Angel thought. His hand wandered back down, and he began unbuttoning the jeans.
Lindsey moaned, placed his shaking hands on the cabinet in front of him. Oh, God....this is it. If I wanna back out, it’s now or never....., but then Angel started undoing each button on his jeans, the pressure on his erection hit his system, and Lindsey knew without doubt, he wanted this.....desperately. His body felt more alive in this moment that it ever had before. “Afraid?” Angel whispered into his ear.
“No,” Lindsey shakily said.
“Do you want me to stop? Slow down?” Angel said, his hands poised to push the jeans down.
He’s giving you an out. This is it, Lindsey boy....take it and move on....or get on with it and take what you’ve always wanted. Lindsey shivered. He whispered, “No, don’t stop....please....don’t stop.”
Angel growled again. Lindsey gasped at the sound, and the vampire chuckled. He slid the jeans down, his hands inside touching Lindsey’s legs all the way down, then back up again as he stood. He shrugged the duster off, placing the lube he’d brought on the cabinet in front of Lindsey, who inhaled sharply at the sight of it, but didn’t try to move away. The vampire continued touching Lindsey, who was gently shaking with the desire that was running though his body, panting softly, and blushing at the same time.
Angel decided this was the moment of truth, right here....right now. He gently took Lindsey’s balls in his grip, gently squeezed....not enough to hurt....just enough to get his attention. He kissed Lindsey’s neck, and the young man sucked in his breath and froze. Angel menacingly said, "What game are you playing at.....what do you want, really? Tell me, Lindsey."
Lindsey softly said, “I have a vampire at my neck, my pants are down around my ankles, every nerve in my body is singing, I can’t decide what it is I want the most, but your hand is on the most vulnerable part of my body....I can feel the danger I’m in. Tell me, Angel....what do I smell like I want?”
“Oh, you smell like you really want me to take you, but I want to hear you say it. Tell me, Lindsey,” Angel whispered. “You look at yourself in that mirror, and you tell me.”
Lindsey glanced in the mirror, saw himself...the look of abandonment in his eyes, the color of the blush of his skin, and he was blinded by passion, only feeling the hot desire the vampire had always aroused in him, Lindsey turned to look Angel in the eye, and answered honestly, "Anything you want, Angel. I’ll let you do anything to me you want. I just want you to take me. Here. Now." His voice broke, and he swallowed what remained of pride, "Please. I just want to feel something real."
That wasn’t the answer Angel was expecting, and it made the demon within glitter in his eyes. A begging, submissive Lindsey he hadn’t been prepared for. A Lindsey who kissed back, who touched him boldly, and didn’t shy away from something he’d never known, he’d not expected that, either. He’d expected anything but the aching, crushing, heart stopping need he could hear in Lindsey’s voice and the unwavering truth he could read in the young man's eyes.
It sent his senses reeling, and before he could control himself, he had the lawyer bent over the liquor cabinet, the lube he had brought in his hands. Angel got Lindsey ready for him, he wasn’t cruel about it, but not gentle either. Lindsey sucked his breath in, he whimpered a little, but he didn’t protest. Then Angel took the man under him, hard and fast. Lindsey screamed at the swift invasion.
He felt pain and pressure as Angel moved in him, but it faded as other, more primal needs took him over. The hot, sweet flush was replaced by a nasty, even hotter desire, one that he found he liked. Being taken this way by someone stronger than him, being used this way by Angel.....Lindsey liked it very much. It hurt, but not like he’d imagined it would. Passion took him over, and all he could do was ride it out. Then the vampire moved a different way, and Lindsey groaned deeply. Angel was hitting his prostate with every stroke, and Lindsey started moving in rhythm with him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lindsey hadn’t lied. He was tight, only the way a virgin at this would be. The heat surrounding him was incredible, Angel had never felt anyone this hot under him before. A red haze descended over the vampire, and all he felt was the need to conquer and dominate, to fuck the man underneath him, and he didn’t hear the sounds that were coming from Lindsey until it was almost over. But by then, Angel couldn’t stop the orgasm that overtook him when he realized the young man under him was moving with him, he was moving and moaning, and he came right before Angel did, the vampire’s name echoing in the air in that harsh, husky voice.
Angel knew then that Lindsey was playing the only game that ever mattered. It was kiss or kill and he was afraid it was going to end up being both, because Lindsey was the one, the only one, who was prepared to take it all the way. Angel had known this from the moment he’d really looked into Lindsey’s eyes, what seemed a lifetime ago.
The final dance between them had begun.